Do you ever consider what your nonverbals are saying?

I recently wrote an article for the FELTG Newsletter about the importance of keeping your nonverbal communication neutral if you're an arbitrator or mediator involved in an Alternative Dispute Resolution proceeding.

This topic applies to those of us outside the ADR process as well. Here's an excerpt from the column (the full article can be found here):

...[N]eutrality -- or lack thereof -- goes far beyond the spoken word. Experts say that up to 80% of the things human beings say aren’t words at all. Like it or not, our nonverbal communication constantly sends messages to those around us. This is a topic that mediators and arbitrators should pay close attention to during a dispute resolution proceeding.  Below are just a few items to consider:

Eye Contact – Direct eye contact exhibits engagement and attention. During the ADR process, make eye contact as equally as possible with all parties involved. Don’t roll your eyes, look away, wink, or shut your eyes for any extended period of time, as these actions may send messages of sarcasm, bias, and disinterest, and thereby undermine the entire proceeding.

Posture – A person’s posture reveals much about his/her affinity to the people nearby. An open, relaxed posture demonstrates a level of comfort and safety, while a closed stance (crossed arms; back turned) signifies dislike, discomfort or disagreement. During a dispute resolution proceeding, it’s best for you as the Neutral to lean slightly forward in your seat to show you’re paying attention, while keeping your shoulders and face relaxed. This will facilitate a safe atmosphere in which the parties feel more at ease to discuss the items surrounding their dispute.

Gestures – Of utmost importance in considering the gestures you use during an ADR proceeding is an awareness of cultural and ethnic implications of hand, arm, face and other body movements. Various cultural contexts categorize gestures on a spectrum, varying from complimentary to highly offensive, so when in doubt exercise caution and restraint. Additionally, give advance thought to the messages sent by more traditional gestures such as a nod, a pointed finger, or a dismissive wave of the hand.