My Cup of IT: Angry Bird Flu

By: Steve O’Keeffe

Move over worms and viruses. The piggy pandemic panic’s a “poultry” concern. There’s a new germ in D.C. – and Uncle Sam’s burning up with the fever. Yep, I’m talking Angry Bird Flu ­- a despicable new strain of cyber scourge that’s jumped from pixels to people. While Hitchcock smiles insidiously, we’re literally abandoning our work and families. People aren’t safe on the roads. Some of us barely want to get out of bed anymore.

Angry Bird Flu. It started like most infections. I’m sitting on a plane next to a PhD from NIH. She’s acting erratically – playing with her phone during the flight. Yes, I’m talking about you, smart lady. Ironic that you’re working on cures for diseases… “I just can’t seem to stop myself.” You’re a doctor, you should know better.
The bug sat dormant ‘til my wife bought an iPad. Then the symptoms hatched. First the free download, then you’re an addict – paying for your fix. Unless you use the Droid…
And, don’t pretend you don’t have the fever. Look me in the eye and tell me you’ve never flung a feathered friend into TNT or cheered like the Big Bad Wolf as you pummeled the poor piggies’ place. So what did green pigs do to you? Why do you love blue and yellow birds so? Have you discovered the angry eagle – and, if so, do you fear the wrath of the Court of Human Rights? Do digital pigs have rights? Good point.
Here’s my question for General Alexander at U.S. Cyber Command and Bobbie Stempfley at DHS NCSD – what are you doing to save us? We’re not all carrying BlackBerry devices, you know. Oh, and before you ask, this ain’t no tweet.

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