I have been in many situations where I was angry. I was a young female coming into positions of power at a time when women HAD to wear skirts AND hosiery to work. Started wearing pants because working as a purchasing agent required I go out onto the catwalks to inspect defective equipment or materials out on the lines. Sat through many meetings when I was part of the negotiating team and had the other negotiators ask me to get everyone coffee. In some cases I had to tell people, “Just who do you think you are talking to?” or “We can continue this meeting when you develop some respect.” I’ve had people say insulting things or make inappropriate remarks. Most of the time people dissagree because they have opposing needs. Sometimes those needs have to be arrived at through some uncomfortable discussions and anger. Important part is to remember the other person and what they are trying to accomplish.

My rule? Go back to my office, compile a memo of what I would like to say (but don’t send it or print it). Compile another memo with what needs to be covered with specific business related reasons. Make a list of pros and cons of what happened to help me assess the damage. Figure out what options are available for reconciling. Reconsider my needs and alternative options. Was the encounter damaging to my business life? Was it a personal assault? Does it need an apology? Private or public? Arrange a meeting with another person (mediator) to discuss issues and try to resolve.