Both of these statements are pretty hard truths. I didn’t start telworking from home 100% of the time until my son was in first grade. I am the sole caregiver, but I built my work schedule around his school schedule. I too, would agree that it would be next to impossible to work from home with a toddler on the loose. My son was a toddler when I was finishing my M.A. online. Most of the time I had to wait until he was in bed and work into early hours of the next morning to get my work done.
I also have had the experience with female bosses with children who have no empathy for your current situation. Most of the time I have found it is because their situation was so much different than mine (e.g. they could afford hired help, they had a husband, they had family close etc.). I’ve had some great female bosses though as well who were very empathetic. I think it just depends on the personal relationship that you have built with that boss.
One thing I would add to this is that I have usually experienced more empathy from my male bosses when I’ve had to leave early, telework, or take vacation for family matters. However, as a woman….I am way way way more uncomfortable with approaching a male boss over these needs/ issues than I am a female boss.