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Rock My Resume Jackie Fortier
March 30, 2012 at 3:24 pm #157558
Jacqueline N FortierParticipant
I would like to have my resume rocked because I am trying to get my start and need all the help I can get. I graduated a few years ago but suffered some setbacks, and I would like to start with my best foot forward. My problem is that I do not have a significant amount of relevant experience, although my limited experiences have had significant duties.
I am seeking employment after relocating in search of jobs.
I have applied for a number of jobs. In some cases I have been “referred to hiring official,” but in most cases I am “eligible but not referred.” I know I have the desired skills for the positions, but it is a matter of selling them appropriately.
I am interested mostly in attorney positions, but anything where I can use my skills would be great.
This is an example of one position I applied for (before I modeled my resume using the instructions provided).
Thank you, in advance, for any advice you can provide.
The Office of the Principal Legal Advisor of U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement is seeking an attorney for the office listed in this advertisement. ICE is the investigative arm of the Department of Homeland Security, and our attorneys help enforce the immigration and customs laws of the United States; The responsibilities of the position consist primarily of representation of the government in removal proceedings before Immigration Judges, frequently involving applicants for asylum or for other remedies under the U.S.immigration laws. Additional duties include providing legal advice to the other ICE components and providing litigation support to U.S. Attorneys’ Offices in immigration and/or customs matters. The position also involves appellate advocacy before the Board of Immigration Appeals, including the preparation of briefs and other pleadings.
Basic Minimum Qualification Requirements: You must possess:
- a Juris Doctor (JD) degree from an American Bar Association (ABA)-accredited law school; and
- an active membership in good standing of the bar of a state, territory of the United States, District of Columbia, or Commonwealth of Puerto Rico.
Transcripts: You must submit a copy of your transcripts to prove that you possess a Juris Doctor (JD) degree from an American Bar Association (ABA)-accredited law school.
Bar Membership: You must submit a copy of your current membership with your application package.
Writing Sample and Cover Letter: You must submit a writing sample and a cover letter with your application. Your cover letter must contain the following information:
- your full name;
- home address;
- home and work e-mail addresses;
- home, work, and cell telephone numbers;
- name of law school, year of graduation, and year admitted to the bar; and
- a detailed description of your skills, legal experience, and interests.
You must possess a Juris Doctor (JD) degree from an American Bar Association (ABA)-accredited law school.
NOTE: Transcripts must be submitted to verify that you meet the educational requirement/substitution.
[…stating educational, travel, testing requirements…]
April 3, 2012 at 4:43 pm #157572
We’re excited you got the Rock Your Resume Process started! Looks like you’ve taken care of steps 1-5. Once you complete steps 6 and 7 (https://www.govloop.com/group/rockyourresume/page/instructions), we can get you in the queue for a professional review! Just reply to this discussion with your “Edit1” when you’re ready.
April 9, 2012 at 3:19 pm #157569
Jacqueline N FortierParticipant
Thank you. I have attached my Edit1 as requested. I look forward to an opportunity to have my resume rocked!
April 10, 2012 at 4:54 pm #157567
With that, you’re in the the queue for a review! We’d just ask for your patience, as we’re a bit backed up at the moment (there’s been a huge demand for this free service!). One of our reviewers will reply to this discussion with feedback, once they have reviewed your resume.
June 9, 2012 at 5:53 pm #157563
Andrea Boulanger LoweParticipant
I’ve attached your resume with tracked changes. I’ve worked with many people in your same situation where you are looking to get back to a former career track. In this case I typically suggest what some call a hybrid resume where you categorize your experience and within each category your jobs are listed in reverse chronological order. This will allow the reader to see your most relevant experience first.
You have a great summary so I’d keep that the way it is, but I think your bullets don’t make you shine enough. I’ve attached a handout on the anatomy of a bullet point that might help you go from just listing your job duties to listing what you did in more of an accomplishment statement. There is no data on your resume more important than your accomplishments. Think of it this way: you’re a hiring manager with one position to fill and 10 qualified candidates clamoring for the position. Each candidate has the same basic educational and professional background. The candidate who clearly shows how their work added value at past positions will appear most attractive. Accomplishments are all that separate you from other equally qualified candidates.
If you don’t share how your work affected an organization or how your output was used, they won’t get the full picture. They could be left asking ―So What! After you write each bullet point, ask yourself that question—―So What? What’s the end of the story? And whenever possible, quantify your accomplishments.
Sometimes it’s very hard to come up with an achievement for a bullet point, or you may not have specific percentages of growth or effectiveness. In place of measurable accomplishments, give as much detail as you can. If you used a specific software or theory mention it. Did you consult with secondary AND primary resources for your research? What was the title and purpose of the conference you organized? Were your foreign language abilities necessary to complete the task?
A good tool for writing quality position descriptions is the CAR method:
C = Context
A = Action
R = Result
The best resumes describe job tasks, skills, and concrete accomplishments accurately and completely while still being succinct. Effective use of language is the key to conveying your marketable talents to employers. Depict your experience clearly, so they will understand exactly what you learned and what you’ll bring to the position you are applying for.
Good: Wrote press releases
Better: Wrote press releases about upcoming events to enhance publicity and increase participation
Best: Wrote 15 press releases detailing upcoming events which were sent to 100 local media outlets to raise publicity and attract up to 2,000 community members to a movie premiere
*Note that you do not need all “Best” descriptive lines! Include a mix of “Better” and a few “Best” and you will be in good shape!
As I mentioned above you really need to consistently ask yourself “is this relevant to the employer?” That is why I deleted most of what you wrote for your “other experience.”
The position description you provided doesn’t have a whole lot for you to run with. Most descriptions will have a lot more in the required & desired/preferred qualifications that you could use to shift how you write about what you have done in your relevant positions.
Regarding your GPA from law school, I think you should just leave it off. The fact that you were admitted and passed the FL bar says a lot.
Good luck with your job search!
June 11, 2012 at 2:49 pm #157561
We hope you found this service helpful! Since we offer this service for free, we just ask that participants post their newly made-over resumes for all to see and learn from (step 10! https://www.govloop.com/group/rockyourresume/page/instructions). It’s a really valuable resource for others trying to update their own resumes to have a couple great samples to use. We’d really appreciate it if, when you update your resume based on Andrea’s feedback, you would post to this discussion!
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