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Rock My Resume Lola H. Purvis
February 6, 2012 at 8:40 pm #152143
Lola Hampton PurvisParticipant
I want this resume reviewed because I am helping CWT – Compensated Work Therapy Veterans with their resumes to help them become gainfully employed. In a nutshell, CWT is a program that allows Veterans who have been out of work to ease back into the work force at jobs within the VA Services or outside jobs. This puts them through the realities of a job with its pressures, physical activities, mental, social and emotions that come with A JOB!
Within 30 minutes of taking the Rock Your Resume webinar, an email popped up from a Veteran who had worked in Library Service . I looked at it and immediately said, “This will not do!” so I began revising from your advice, contacted the Veteran to find out if it was OK with him, then completed it to re-submit to the job to which he had applied.
I would like to submit the orignal that he did, the revised that I did to see if #1 – there can be further improvement, and #2 – the comments on the first revision. It was fun re-doing the resume immediately after the class to cement the learning and I am interested in any comments. The Veteran has given permission to redact both documents and submit.
Please be aware that I did not see the job announcement until I requested it from Human Resources a few minutes ago.
February 9, 2012 at 9:21 pm #152154
Thanks for submitting this and following our new process. The resume has been added to the queue for February!
March 3, 2012 at 5:56 pm #152150
Thank you for what you are doing to serve our Veterans! Thank you for attending the webinar and your kind comments. They are very much appreciated.
What I have decided to do is use track changes on your document so you could see what/how I changed the resume. Then, I saved it without the track changes so it is a bit more readable for you, and you could use it as a “template” for others. Even though I dislike the word template because I like to create custom résumés, it should give you something you can work with in the future. I realize you might not be as well versed in Word so I hope the extra formatting enhancements are fairly easy for you to work with. Sometimes columns can be difficult, but if you have any trouble, let’s set up a time to talk and do a “join.me” session and I will have you log into my computer and I will show you how to do them. A little education will go a long way and they will be much easier to work with. Or, if you have trouble with anything else, let me know. I am happy to do whatever it takes to help people get back to work, or to work. <smile>
Please review the file labeled track changes. If you read it line by line, and look out to the right side and review the tracked change. It will help you understand the changes. I know it looks awful, so just read it line by line. Again, if you have questions, let me know. You will probably notice I put periods in behind the bullets. Either way is fine, just be consistent. (all or none) The reason I put periods in is because sometimes there are two sentences in one bullet. Some argue that periods are only for complete sentences. In résumé writing though, there are no “rules” per se, but consistency is key. Everyone has an opinion and their own rules. My philosophy is, if it isn’t working something needs changed and it is my job to identify the problem and create a solution that will make that change.
I was not able to interview this candidate to gather needed information, so I put “sample data” in or put ?? behind where I had questions. For example, his ending job title when he left the military has two ?? behind it.
In his current position, it is critical to know specific information. When you write “proficient with copiers, fax, and computers,” that is okay, but if you interview him to find how what he does in a day, the information would be more substantial.
What I do is ask the candidate to think about what they do every day—even have them write a “journal” and sketch out what they did from the time they got to work, until they went home. It could be a page of information, but you can break it down into bite-sized chunks.
Answer the phone and provide information about __________ = customer service.
Researched ________ to gathered information to create a presentation = Researched material online and various resources to create a PowerPoint presentation on _________ for the Division Chief.
You get the idea. Interviewing the candidate and asking the right questions is key in discovering those golden nuggets that help to create the candidate’s brand and uncover their unique selling proposition—one of the keys to a successful résumé.
Again, I was not able to interview the candidate, but be sure to ask about additional training, military and other awards and recognition, and volunteer service.
Even though I left space for the supervisor, may/may not contact, number of hours worked per week, salary, etc., do not put that information on the resume that you might re-post to the group. Just be sure it is on the Federal résumé. All of that information is part of the difference between a private sector résumé vs. a Federal résumé.
If you have any questions, please let me know.
Best of luck to you and our Veterans!
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*Behavioral Consultant and Authorized DISC Administrator
March 6, 2012 at 6:43 pm #152148
We hope you found this service helpful!
If the veteran you’re assisting found the review helpful and wouldn’t mind re-posting their updated version to this discussion, it would be a great resource for others trying to update their own resumes to have a couple great samples to use. Also, if they re-post by March 9, they’d also be in the running for our monthly spotlight for the best resume rocked this month! In addition to getting some great exposure, the winner will also get a $10 Starbucks gift card, to help power through the job application process!
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