How To Get People To Like You


“The greatest good you can do for another is not to share your riches but to reveal to him his own” – Benjamin Disraeli

Before dive right into how to land your dream job, let’s do some internal work first.

According to psychologist Sydney Jourard, 85 percent of your success in work is determined by your attitude and personality.

It has been said that we do not attract what we want, but rather we attract who we are, for we are the sum total of our thoughts. Your thoughts determine your attitude which creates your personality.

So why haven’t you landed your dream job yet?

It may be a simpler answer than you think. Scientific studies show it largely depends on how much people like you and want to help you.

Imagine for a moment, what your personal and professional life would be like if you knew that every room you walked into people wanted to hear what you had to say, wanted to help you, and were eager to gain your approval?

Would that change your life at all? I agree.(I hope you said yesJ).

For charismatic people, this is their way of life. People feel drawn to them and feel compelled to help them. They seem to experience less stress in life and tend to make more money than the average person.

Let me ask you:

  • Does that seem appealing to you at all?
  • Do you think that could be a valuable skill set to possess at work?
  • Do you think it would be easier for you to land that promotion?

In her book, The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism , author Olivia Fox Cabane says there are three surefire ways to get people to like you more.

  • Presence: being aware of you what’s happening around you
  • Power: being perceived as being able to affect the world around you
  • Warmth: goodwill toward others.

Former Prime Minister Benjamin Disraeli is an excellent example of all three characteristics. In the summer of 1886, Disraeli was running to become prime minister. His opponent was William Gladstone. In the last week before the election, both men happened to take the same young woman out to dinner.

The press asked what her impressions were of the two gentlemen. She said, “After dining with Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest person in England. But after dining with Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest person in England.”

Disraeli won the election.


He made other people feel intelligent and fascinating. Disraeli was truly other-people oriented. He wanted to make others feel good about themselves. He sincerely cared about others. For this, he was able to ascend to one of the highest offices in England at that time. You can do the same in your workplace. Seek to help others and you will advance within your federal organization.

Cabane gives three quick tips to gain an instant charisma boost in any conversation:

  • Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of your sentences
  • Reduce how quickly and how often you nod
  • Pause for two full seconds before you speak

Charisma gets people to like you, trust you and want to be led by you. It can help you achieve your goal of getting promoted. Many studies show that charismatic people receive higher performance ratings and are viewed as more effective by their superiors.

Your career trajectory largely depends on how well you get along with and can influence others. If you are positive, friendly, and sincerely helpful, everyone including your manager, will have to take notice.

Next week we’ll dive into some actionable steps you can put in practice to get you that job you deserve.

See you next week.

P.S. I highly recommend reading the book below:

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism

Leave a Comment


Leave a Reply

Jon White

The Disraeli / Gladstone story is apocryphal at best and nonsense in any case. Gladstone and Disraeli alternated as Prime Minister over 2 decades. The date is also clearly incorrect, as Disraeli died in 1881! (Details, details, details. If you are going to present nonsense, at least get the traceable facts correct!) So let’s pretend we are really talking about 1874. To attribute electoral succes to whether one or the other was more likeable is nonsense and ignores historical reality. Gladstone is accounted one of the greatest of all British PMs. Both men were beloved by some and hated by others. They were famous for their heated debates. Disraeli is considered by many the more witty of the 2. And he was a very interesting character, rising from the lower classes to an aristocratic level. Or as he said , he had reached the top of the greasy pole.