I’ve often found it challenging to exercise the age-old adages about the power of your mindset. We all know them and they seem to hold true, but the difficulty for me had often been the how. How do I change my mind? What specifically do I need to do to get this outcome? I am a practical person at heart and I like formulas, or at least general guidelines.
I was able to solidify a process that made sense to me while I was coaching. I captured what worked in real-time with a client. I’ve since used this exercise with many clients and have shared the concept with other coaches and friends. Since many people have found it useful, I’d love to share it with you, too! While I am a certified coach, I am not a licensed mental health professional. This exercise is designed to support mindset shifts, it is not a substitute for psychological or psychiatric care.
Why Mindset Matters
Your mindset significantly influences your actions and experiences. It is shaped by what you believe to be true about yourself, others, and the world. These beliefs influence your thoughts, emotions, and perceptions, which in turn shape your choices and actions.
For example:
Someone with an anxious mindset might say: I am unsafe. People are judging me. The world is unpredictable. Therefore, I need to be on high alert.
Someone with a neutral mindset might say: I am okay. People are doing their best. The world is mostly fair. Therefore, I need to focus on what I can control.
Someone with a growth-oriented mindset might say: I am capable. People are supportive. The world is full of opportunities. Therefore, I need to stay open and take action.
There are countless ways to see the world, and no single mindset is “right” or “wrong” — only helpful or unhelpful in different situations. If you are being chased by a bear, by all means, step into an anxious mindset. There would be no need to intentionally shift to growth-mindset, let your survival instincts lead the way. When you are out of physical danger you can consider doing a mindset shift exercise.
Step 1: Identify Your Current Mindset
The first step is to start where you are. When you externalize the mindset by writing it out or thinking about it out loud, you take away the power from that belief and you can decide whether to reinforce it or shift it. Remember the point of a mindset shift isn’t to ignore reality — it is accepting reality as it is and choosing how you want to experience it.
This works best if you write it out. Take a moment to reflect on your thoughts and emotions about a situation. What must you believe about yourself, others, and the world to experience these emotions and thoughts? For example:
- I am… (overwhelmed, capable, not enough, resilient, etc.)
- People are… (supportive, judgmental, indifferent, doing their best, etc.)
- The world is… (full of opportunities, unfair, unpredictable, abundant, etc.)
- Therefore, I need to… (be cautious, push myself, stay prepared, trust the process, etc.)
Step 2: Set Your Intention
Now, decide how you want to be in this situation. Choose a word that represents the mindset you want to embody. For example, you may like the words calm, confident, resourceful, patient, flexible, optimistic, resilient, focused, compassionate, etc. Just pick a word that resonates with you.
Then write out or say out loud: “My intention is to be (for example, compassionate, stable, fun) in this situation.”
Step 3: Define Your New Mindset
Next think about what a person with this mind is likely to believe about the self, others, and the world. “People with a (your intention) mindset tend to believe…”
- ” I am (e.g., capable, strong, adaptable, worthy).”
- “People are (e.g., supportive, trying their best, open to connection).
- “The world is (e.g., full of possibilities, working in my favor, fair).”
By adopting this mindset, you shift how you see the situation, opening yourself to new possibilities from which to choose your next step.
Step 4: Align Your Actions with Your Mindset
Now imagine what a person with this mindset would do and then list out several ideas this mindset would find viable and helpful. You can write or say to yourself: “A person with a (intention) mindset in this situation would…” then list out several ideas. For example:
- …focus on solutions instead of problems
- …take a deep breath and respond instead of reacting
- …seek opportunities rather than dwelling on limitations
- …communicate clearly and ask for support if needed
- …trust the process and take the next best step
Step 5: Own the Mindset and Take the Action
Lastly, you can step into the mindset and choose your next steps from that mindset. You could say or write: I have a (intention) mindset and I can (choose 1-2 things from the list of actions). If my initial approach doesn’t work, I still have a (intention) mindset, so I can (choose additional actions that align with the belief.)
For example: I have a curious mindset and I can ask questions and do some research to clarify the options. If that doesn’t work, I still have curious mindset and I can do some self-reflection exercises and request feedback from others I trust.
Final Thoughts
Your mindset is your way of being, and your actions are an expression of that mindset. By intentionally shifting your beliefs, you gain the power to shape your experience. This practice doesn’t have to be perfect — it’s about progress. The more you consciously choose your mindset, the more natural it becomes. Remember that practice is the bridge between knowledge and ability.
Bonus Tip: If you find it challenging to shift your mindset in the moment, try using a “bridge belief.” Instead of forcing yourself to adopt a belief that feels untrue, start with something more neutral. This makes the shift feel more natural and achievable. For example: Instead of “I am confident,” try “I am learning to trust myself more.” Instead of “People are supportive,” try “Some people are supportive, and I can find them.”
Nefertiti DiCosmo is a Supervisory Life Scientist for the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). She is passionate about employee engagement and coaching. Her leadership mantra is, “Prioritize people. Simplify processes. Celebrate progress.”
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