Change is a significant part of our lives, and as such how we approach it can have an equally significant impact in our success. Rule 19 is about anticipating change. Rule 19a is about understanding change. This week I want to share with you a couple TOOLS to help you deal with change.
In the late nineties, while I was in Oklahoma, I was told by my boss I was going to be transferred to Miami, Florida. My wife was in a position where she could not leave Oklahoma. This meant we were going to be geographically separated for 2 years, and incur additional expenses maintaining two households. Immediately I applied Success RULE 19 – IDQ. I tried to INFLUENCE the situation to the way I wanted it to be, speaking to several people, offices etc. About 30 days later I was officially notified of this new assignment; I’m going. My ability to influence the situation was gone. So, on to option 2, DEAL with it, suck it up, get on with life. Oh sure, I can stay in the anger stage of the grieving process I spoke of last week and be miserable – or get on with life. So how do we get to the acceptance stage and return to an increased level of productivity – and get on with life. Two different tools.
Tool number one – skip! Yup, that’s right, good ol’ elementary school yard skipping. Here is a little secret. You CAN’T skip and be miserable at the same time J. Try it! No kidding, get up right now and skip down the hall. You will laugh and everyone who sees you will start laughing. My point is your emotional state is directly connected to your physical state. If I can change the way you act, I can change the way you feel. If I can change the way you feel I can change the way you think . . .and the cycle continues(your thinking will influence your actions, which influence your feelings, which influence your . . .) If you want to change your current state of mind, physically change what you are doing, go for a walk, run or go to the gym, work on a hobby, smile, laugh, wear a clown nose (I do this when I am in bumper to bumper traffic. Works every time.
Tool number two – Google the brain. Tool number one is good and helpful for the short term, but has to be repeated. Tool number two is there to get us onto the acceptance stage. Our brain is a giant database of information just like the internet. And like the internet it responds to a search engine just like Google. Do you talk to yourself? I’m sure you do, we all do. Next time you’re experiencing change, Google your brain. Just like the internet version your brain will search for the answer to the question you ask. Like Google it doesn’t make things up. It gives you exactly what you ask for, nothing more, nothing less, garbage in, garbage out. Practice asking yourself empowering questions and your brain will give you the empowering answers you need for extraordinary success.
Faced with two years away from my family and additional expenses, I “Googled” my brain and asked, “How can I strengthen the love and relationship with my wife while separated for two years?” and, “What alternative living arrangements are available that won’t cost a lot of money?” Whir, spin, wheeze, here’s what my brain came up with. Miami, South Beach, warm, park bench, bridge, local homeless shelter. OK sometimes, just like Google, you have to refine your search. “What alternative living arrangements are available that won’t cost a lot of money, and are conducive to my current lifestyle?”, single wide, RV, boat, roommate, cheap apartment. Whoa! Back up. Boat? Hmmm? Well I bought a 36′ Morgan Out Island sailboat (anything over 30 feet is considered a yacht. Yup, I was a yacht owner J) and lived on it for nearly two years. Never sailed a day in my life . . . until the day I bought that boat. Had a friend teach me to sail, and just about every weekend I went sailing. Dorothy would visit from Oklahoma and we’d do a five day cruise along the keys, just her and I, beautiful sunrises, romantic sunsets, fresh lobster every day. Sure, I could have been miserable. But I chose to deal with it, sucked it up, get on with my life. How about You?
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