Berry All But Official At OPM

Check it out here, including details from Berry’s time at Interior.

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Sandy Ressler

Top Ten Reasons a Guy from the Zoo should Run OPM

10. All us Feds have been viewed as animals for a long time anyway.

9. He can rename executive departments by genus names: Dept. of Reptiles, Dept. of Fish, Dept of Mammals etc.

8. Wild screaming down the hallways will simply be an invitation to lunch.

7. Official time after lunch for “grooming”.

6. Promotion via real scratching and clawing.

5. Instead of “staff meetings” they will now be called “cattle calls”.

4. Performance plans will really be signed in blood.

3. Performance measures will be based on obligatory distance spitting.

2. Bonuses will now be made with bananas.

1. Ya know that 500 lbs gorilla in the room? That’s really your boss.