GovLoop’s Bureaucrat on College Sports – Ranking the Big 12 Football Bowl Subdivision Teams

Don’t forget about GovLoop’s membership drive. Get us to 1000 members by the end of August. And then enjoy some Starbucks coffee (or Diet Mountain Dew).

Labor Day, one of the 2008 Federal Holidays, is fast approaching. This all means that college football is right around the corner. The first game is on August 28, 2008. That is less than two weeks from today.

The Big 12 Conference quarterbacks (QBs) rule college football. The Conference has the best stable of quarterbacks in the country in Graham Harrell (Texas Tech), Sam Bradford (University of Oklahoma), Josh Freeman (Kansas State University), Chase Daniel (University of Missouri), Todd Reesing (University of Kansas), Colt McCoy (University of Texas), Cody Hawkins, (University of Colorado), Zac Robinson (Oklahoma State University), and Stephen McGee (Texas A&M). Coach Mark Magino stated, “It’s like going to a Mercedes-Benz dealer and deciding what color you want.”

The Hokie Guru agrees. Anyone of the nine QBs mentioned above could start for any other Bowl Championship Series conference (e.g. ACC, Big 10, SEC, Big East, and Pac-10) team in America. Next year, 66 percent of these QBs will play somewhere in the National Football League. Gone are the days of Nebraska’s option run attack and in are spread and no-huddle offenses; the fast break offenses of college football. It’s why you see such an emphasis these days in college football regarding the recruitment of fast defensive backs; it’s an obvious measure taken to slow down the offenses.

Here we go: The Big 12 Conference consists of two divisions (with six teams in each division); the North and the South. Unlike Big Ten officials, the Big 12 Conference officials are also adept at mathematics (there are twelve teams in the conference). Without further ado, let’s begin the rankings:

Big 12 North

1. Missouri –The Missouri Tigers received a lump of coal in their stocking for the bowl season last year. Missouri beat Kansas last year, yet, they did not go to a Bowl Championship Series (BCS) Bowl. I’d be bothered by that if I were Coach Gary Pinkel and would use this as motivation. Tiger QB, Chase Daniel, is in the picture for the Heisman Trophy and will likely lead the Tigers to a BCS bowl to be determined.

2. Kansas – We will find out this year if last season’s special run by the Jayhawks was a fluke (the Jayhawks beat the Guru’s Hokies in the Orange Bowl last season). The Jayhawks play the University of South Florida (a game the Hokie Guru predicted that the USF Bulls would win because Kansas will not be able to win two games in the State of Florida), Texas, Oklahoma, and Texas Tech (three Big 12 teams they did not play last year), along with the Big 12 North Division Schedule (here is the entire football schedule for Kansas). Here’s the deal, though… the Hokie Guru could not rank Kansas any lower in the North Division because the teams below them are, well, incredibly weak.

3. Nebraska – Bo Pelini is in his first year as head coach with the Cornhuskers (he was one of the best defensive coordinators in America and helped LSU win the national title last year). Apparently, he needs to condition many of his players.

4. Colorado – Dan Hawkins, former Boise State University head coach, is in his third year with the Buffaloes. The Hokie Guru thinks Hawkins was the right man for the job. He was 2-10 in his first season and 6-7 in his second season with the Buffs. Colorado has a tough schedule, including non-conference games against in-state rival Colorado State, Florida $tate Univer$ity, West Virginia, and Eastern Washington. The Buffs are on the right track with Hawk at the helm; someone who brings unquestionable ethics to the job.

5. Kansas State – Josh Freeman is 6’6” tall, 250 lbs… and he’s a QB. I remember former linebackers last season at Virginia Tech that were smaller than Mr. Freeman. Freeman is the type of QB that the NFL scouts drool over. The problem is he might be the only show at Kansas State.

6. Iowa State – Iowa State University is in Ames, IA. Ames has an excellent electronic government site. You can make online payments for utility bills, parking tickets, and court fines. Serious, Iowa State has a good chance of losing to Football Championship Series (FCS… formerly Division I-AA) South Dakota State.

Big 12 South

1. Oklahoma – Coaches Hot Seat has Oklahoma with an undefeated record (But will they show up in a bowl when it counts? Last year, they lost to West Virginia in the Fiesta Bowl. The year before, they also lost in the Fiesta Bowl to Boise State University in maybe the best bowl game of this decade. Surely, a David and Goliath match-up.). Sam Bradford is a GREAT QB. The Hokie Guru thought that Bradford showed the poise of a senior last year (Bradford will be a sophomore this year). Bradford will carry this team on his shoulders this year towards a potential run at the national title.

2. Texas Tech – Mike Leach is probably the only college football coach who is also an attorney (he graduated #3 in his class at Pepperdine University). Leach knows how to design offenses. He has helped his Red Raider QB, Graham Harrell, throw for miles in a season. Last year, Texas Tech beat Oklahoma and it may happen again this year. The Hokie Guru predicts a Holiday Bowl matchup with the University of Oregon (which means we may see 150 points in a bowl game in San Diego, a great place).

3. Texas – The best off-season hire in the Big 12 was defensive coordinator, Will Muschamp. Will this be enough to offset Mike Leach’s potent offense? Everyone will be chasing Oklahoma, so the point might be mute.

4. Oklahoma State – Head Coach Mike Gundy was one of the largest YouTube stars last year. “Whoever wrote this article doesn’t have a child. If you want to come after someone, COME AFTER ME, I’M A MAN, I’M 40!!!!!!” Classic. I will remember this all my life. Where were we before YouTube?

5. Texas A&M – Texas A&M should not have dismissed R.C. Slocum. The old coach is actually on Facebook!!. The Aggies then hired Dennis Franchione who resigned after a five-year tour and was replaced by former Green Bay Packers Head Coach Mike Sherman. As ESPN’s Ivan Maisel stated, “Stop me if you’ve heard this before: A fallen Big 12 power believes the key to righting itself is by hiring a fired NFL coach with a college background.”

6. Baylor – The Hokie Guru’s sister graduated magna cum laude from Baylor University Law School (she was #2 in her class). Baylor Law School is also a top 50 law school according to U.S. News and World Report. Do you get the feeling I don’t want to talk about football when it comes to Baylor?

Stay tuned next week for the Hokie Guru’s analysis of the USA Today Coaches Top 25 Poll and Week 1 Picks.