April is Autism Acceptance Month, and it is a good time to consider ways you can work with an autistic colleague. What should you do if one of your peers is autistic, or perhaps one of your direct reports if you’re a supervisor? Ultimately, treat them with respect, and do not expect them to conform to allistic (non-autistic) behavior. Some of this advice applies to people with other disabilities as well.
Generally, the only way that you may truly know that your coworker is autistic is if they disclose their condition to you. Offices should not divulge this type of information to employees without the autistic worker’s consent.
If your colleague discloses their autism to you:
- Be supportive. You should feel gratified that they opened up to you. It may mean that they trust you and want your support.
- Ask about their interests and challenges and what assists them.
- Ask how you can be helpful, and then follow their wishes.
- Ask your colleague for their communication preferences and honor them. Often, autistic people prefer written communication.
- Keep your colleague’s autism confidential. Realize that disclosure is your coworker’s choice. Do not pressure your colleague to disclose, and do not let others know about your autistic colleague’s condition unless you know it’s something they want.
Autism manifests itself differently in different people. You may know an autistic person, but that doesn’t mean you necessarily understand how to work with another.
Allow your autistic colleague to be their authentic self, free from judgment. Accept slightly different behavior from your colleague. For example, do not automatically assume that they are inattentive if they do not make eye contact with you. Do not think that they are not fully present in a virtual meeting if their camera is off.
Do not expect your autistic colleague to behave like the rest of your coworkers and force them to try. That would be neuroableism — the expectation that neurodivergent people behave and think like neurotypical people.
Modify your behavior to accommodate your autistic coworker. For example, if your colleague‘s behavior distracts others, try virtual meetings. Since change stresses many autistic people, explain upcoming changes in process or routine and give them time to adjust.
Be direct and clear when asking your coworker to do something. Ensure that you share a common understanding of the task, as your coworker may be a literal thinker and not perceive unstated nuances. Be open to their clarifying questions. Do not attack them for asking or try to limit their questions.
Be friendly to your autistic colleague, but do not be upset if they don’t engage in small talk or attend informal office events. Do not mock them, even in what you may feel is a lighthearted way.
Do not resent your coworker if you see them receive what you consider preferential treatment. For example, you may see that that your manager accepts that your coworker doesn’t make eye contact while requiring it from others. Realize that your colleague may have a reasonable accommodation, which helps them do their job. Don’t try to find out more — you may not have a right to know the reason for that accommodation.
Understand that you are working with a person who may have valuable strengths. These can include an exceptional memory, detail-orientation, scrupulous honesty and more. Recognize these strengths and be open to giving your autistic colleague work that plays to those assets — even when it’s a task you yourself enjoy.
On a related note, what do you do if you think that one of your colleagues is autistic? Mentioning autism to your colleague may backfire, as it could make your colleague uncomfortable or negatively affect your relationship. As individuals can receive an autism diagnosis as adults, they may not know they are autistic. Follow your colleague’s lead and do not say anything unless they bring it up.
Be respectful of your autistic coworker. Treat them with dignity.
Miriam Edelman, MPA, MSSW, is a Washington, D.C.-based policy professional. Her experience includes policy work for Congress. Miriam’s undergraduate degree is from Barnard College, Columbia University, with majors in political science and urban studies. She has a master’s in public administration from Cornell University, where she was inducted into the national honorary society for public administration. She has a master’s of science in social work (focusing on policy) from Columbia University. She is a commissioner of the DC Commission on Persons with Disabilities. Miriam aims to continue her career in public service. She is especially interested in democracy, civic education, District of Columbia autonomy, diversity, health policy, women’s issues, and disabilities.
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