My last few blogs departed from the fun stuff from Confessions and shifted to some caustic commentary about the GSA scandal with just a few barbs pointed at the Office of the Inspector General. My You Tube videos did the same. Given the recent well-publicized and hard to justify midnight raid on someone’s hotel room, the IG’s office seems to be doing enough to spoof themselves without my help. Nevertheless, in Confessions, I did a little satirical commentary on the work of that office which I thought I might share with you here.
As with previous excerpts, several adjustments have been made to keep this suitable for the entire family.
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When you are at the top of your organization, you become privy to information not available to the general public. Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “Why?” Some of this information is of no strategic value other than to possibly allow someone to blow their own horn.
One such instance came when we were told to stand by for a major announcement from the Office of the Inspector General. This could not be good news. The only time the IG seeks publicity is when they nail some sorry SOB for putting his (or her) hand in the till. I’ve seen enough people escorted from the office by the old pinch above the elbows maneuver. We were all wondering who it could be this time.
Then the press release hit the news wires. The IG, quite by accident, solved a fifty-year-old “missing persons” case. They acted as if they found Judge Crater.
When the old federal courthouse in Newark was torn down many years earlier, it seems that the concrete eagle which proudly stood at the base of the flagpole disappeared. Notwithstanding the IG’s bulldog perseverance for a half century, the missing eagle was actually in the neighborhood in plain view for all of those years.
It turned out that the widow of the owner of a demolition company decided to sell the family home years after his passing. This ornament was cemented in place in her backyard for the entire time, which I suppose made her an accessory to the crime. She went to the local courts asking if somebody would please take the eagle.
A New Jersey magistrate took up the cause and demanded that the federal government pay for moving this ton of cement to a more appropriate place, such as the new Martin Luther King Courthouse in downtown Newark. The eagle was no longer federal property and GSA could not magnanimously foot the bill for moving and re-installation (this would cause another IG investigation).
The funding debate went on while the IG investigated in order to get to the bottom of the mystery. Eventually private funds were raised for this effort while the IG absolved everyone of any charges of criminal possession.
Within a year after being installed at its new location some whacko came by one evening and chopped off the head of the eagle as well as several other historic statues around the city.
The IG has not solved the latest case.
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