A city council decided to adopt a “get tough on drunk drivers” and passed a resolution authorizing the Police Chief to hire a new part-time officer. The local media reported that the sole pupose of this new position within the police department was to crack down on drunk drivers on Friday and Saturday nights. When a part time officer was finally hired the newspapers reported he would start working this Friday and Saturday night.
On his first night on patrol the new officer staked out a local night spot with a long standing reputation for its high number of DUI violators. Ten minutes before closing time, the Officer saw a man stumble out of the front door of the bar and then trip on the sidewalk and fall face down. After laying on the sidewalk for several minutes the man finally picked himself up and wobbled towards the parking lot.
Once in the parking lot the man fumbled for several minutes to locate his keys then he tried to open five different cars before finding one his keys would open. Meanwhile, other patrons were leaving the bar and were driving off but the officer stayed with his man.
After several minutes of trying to start his car the driver finally got it in gear and pulled it out of the parking lot. The new officer immediately turned on his lights and siren and pulled the driver over. Because the officer had witnessed this man’s actions he didn’t waste time with a field sobriety test, instead he proceeded right to the breathalyzer to capture the man’s blood-alcohol content.
Amazingly the results of the man’s blood alcohol came up with a 0.0 reading. Puzzled the Officer demanded to know how this could be. He witnessed the man stagger, fall and fumble. “It’s easy” replied the driver “We all read in the paper over the past few months that the City was going to hire a part time DUI officer. We also saw tonight on the news that this evening was going to be his first night on duty so we all drew straws and I lost. I had to be the designated decoy tonight.“