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The Reorg Rag (with apologies to no one)

It can’t happen here, I have too much to do…
Who took my desk and chair, my computer, too?
They can’t replace me — the Branch Techno-file
What do you mean I’m still in denial?

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Why does it feel I’ve been fragged?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Maybe I’m just on a jag.
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!

Rejoice, you’re employed…so they’ve frozen your pay
And put on your backs the recovery.
Two free weeks furlough to re-“leave” your stress
What a friend you have in the 112th Congress!

Work’s now a casino, a high tech RIF** RAFFle
When will we know? Why does management waffle?
Buddha-Computah…who’s pink slipping away?
Here’s your ticket to ride; uh, shopping’s good in Bombay.

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
Why do I just want to gag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Whatever happened to my swag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!

You’ll “Do more with less,” when “There’s no ‘I’ in team”
So “Dress for Success,” then become “lean-and-Mean.”
Keep reading those posters, your glass is half full
Though, beware “going postal” in the face of this bull.

Ignore the slacker; just take up his load.
Put in for a transfer; oops, no off ramp for this road.
The boss is a bully; the “Old Boys” turn an eye
You’re getting an ulcer — such a “nice gal or guy.”

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
Why has life become a drag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
Should I raise that white flag?
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
I’m still on the Reorg Rag!

Now you’ve had enough, playing Raggedy Ann
Start calling their bluff; draw a line in the sand.
You are a survivor; just never forget
To bring out your “Inner Rambo or Rambette!”

So “Do know your limits; don’t limit your ‘No’s”
There’s life beyond widgets; you’ve taken their blows.
Break away from the mob, you’ve surpassed your quota
And have won your job…but now in North Dakota!

Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Once again in a trick bag.
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
Back into the old gulag
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag,
I’m still on the Reorg Rag
Reorg Rag, Reorg Rag
Forever on the Reorg Rag!

**RIF = Reduction In Force

© Mark Gorkin 2010
Shrink Rap ™ Productions

Mark Gorkin, MSW, LICSW, “The Stress Doc” ™, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, is an acclaimed keynote and kickoff speaker as well as “Motivational Humorist & Team Communication Catalyst” known for his interactive, inspiring and FUN programs for both government agencies and major corporations. In addition, the “Doc” is a team building and organizational development consultant. He is providing “Stress and Communication, as well as Managing Change, Leadership and Team Building” programs for the 1st Cavalry Division and 13th Expeditionary Support Command, Ft. Hood, Texas and for Army Community Services and Family Advocacy Programs at Ft. Meade, MD and Ft. Belvoir, VA. The Stress Doc is the author of Practice Safe Stress and of The Four Faces of Anger. See his award-winning, USA Today Online “HotSite”www.stressdoc.com — called a “workplace resource” by National Public Radio (NPR). For more info on the Doc’s “Practice Safe Stress” programs or to receive his free e-newsletter, email [email protected] or call 301-875-2567.

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Mark Gorkin

Thanks, Steve. From one edgy mind to another. Will be writing a companion article on the genesis of “The Rag.”


Mark Gorkin

Thanks for the note, Alan. your eloquent comment reminded me of that old comic bit: After talking about himself for a good while, a raconteur turns to his listener and says, “Enough about me…now, tell me, what do you think about me?” 😉

Jenyfer Johnson

Having been through a “Right-Sizing”, 2 RIF’s and a BRAC…all I can say is your little song sums it up perfectly!!

Alan L. Greenberg

Mark, my comment was not intended as self promo – just an honest opinion based upon 39 years as a fed. I should have preceded the comment with a “Well stated,” as applied to your blog.

Mark Gorkin

Thanks, Jenyfer. I hope my words for you were both affirming and a touch amusing. I think you’ll appreciate this comment by Charlie Chaplin: “A paradoxical thing about making comedy, it is precisely the tragic which arouses the funny. We have to laugh due to our helplessness in the face of natural forces…and in order not to go crazy.”

Best wishes and good adventures. Mark