Managing Endings and New Beginnings in 3 Steps

When something in your life changes, an inner psychological process naturally accompanies it. We are often not aware that this is taking place, or we might unconsciously ignore it as we are stuck in lamenting what is changing or just trying to deal with it. Whether voluntary or involuntary, change can be disruptive and derailing — unless you work through it properly.

Would you like to emerge on the other side of change feeling renewed and optimistic about the future? Practice the three-step process below, any time you are experiencing a change in your life or at work, and especially for the major changes. Working through these steps can help you take control of your inner psychological process to leave the “blues” behind and get to a stage of growth and renewal.

Step 1: Reflection

Take some time to reflect on the past situation (i.e., what is changing) and determine what you would like to take with you. In other words, was there something you learned that you think will serve you well moving forward? Are there any friendships or relationships that you would like to maintain?

Many of us find great comfort in taking a physical memento with us (as long as we have permission, of course). For example, to commemorate my first federal job, my team had gifted me a blue coffee mug with the organization’s logo on the front. When I decided to accept a new position at a different agency, I took the mug home with me, as a positive reminder of my experience.

As part of your reflection, identify what will be beneficial for you to let go of. Perhaps you had a stressful job, a long commute, or a toxic coworker or boss. You may have had to deal with the frustrations that can be caused by using outdated software or equipment. Leaving those stressors and frustrations behind can open you up to a better future.

Step 2: Pairing Reflection with Action

To really let go of what was, pair the mental reflection process with a physical activity to mark the ending and signify that you are “letting go.” For example, you could trash your letting go list. In other words, use a blank piece of paper to write a list of everything that will be beneficial for you to let go of (which you identified in Step 1). Once you feel the list is complete and you are ready to “say goodbye” to these stressors and frustrations, fold the piece of paper and walk over to a trash can, recycle bin, or shredder to dispose of it. To complete the process, try saying the word “goodbye” out loud, possibly naming what you are saying goodbye to, e.g., “goodbye stress!”

For an environmentally-friendly alternative, open a blank Microsoft Word or Excel file on your computer and type up your list. Then, you can close the file and drag it over to the trash or recycle bin on your computer. You might even want to double delete it!

Step 3: Celebration

An often-overlooked step when we embark on something new is to take a moment to celebrate. Whether you are starting a new job, retiring, beginning a job hunt, etc., it can help renew your spirit to do something to celebrate the new beginning. The celebration does not have to be a large, elaborate event. It could be as small as raising a glass to yourself and saying “congratulations!” or “cheers!” Or, you could have a special meal or a party with family or friends. Do what feels right to you. Big, small, or in between, take a moment to celebrate or congratulate yourself on the beginning of what just might be a better future ahead.

Dr. Lauren Forgacs is an organizational development psychologist and applied positive psychologist, with more than six years of service in the federal government and 20 years of private sector experience, including award-winning accomplishments with a top five management consulting firm. She provides expert guidance and customized solutions to federal leaders on organizational development and culture, change management, leadership, teambuilding, employee engagement, and psychological safety. She is an expert on human-centered leadership and recently developed a year-long, cohort-based training program to enhance enterprise-wide leadership skills, organizational effectiveness, and the employee experience. Dr. Forgacs has held several leadership positions, effectively leading and motivating remote, hybrid, and on-site teams. She is also a certified federal leadership coach and a Gallup-certified strengths coach.

Photo by Akil Mazumder at pexels.com.