New contest: can you describe a new start-up (or organization) without using ANY of these words?

I originally wrote this blog post because I have noticed, as the federal government has gotten more “startuppy,” the language in the articles covering Startup Gov enterprises has started to get more buzzwordtistic, more tech startup delirious. To the detriment of sense.
We can stop this, people. We can, and we should, because at a certain point, the language CEASES TO MEAN ANYTHING. We are better than this. We must be better than this, because we are serving citizens, and they and we deserve plain, no-BS language. And because buzzwords are bad for new organizations. It buries their value in nonsense.
It may be too late for the tech press, but it is not too late for us. And besides, if you write clearly, you win some coffee.
Dear tech (and government) press:
I dare you to write about a new company* without using ANY of the following: agile, lean, disruptive, iterative, beta, dorm room, innovative, basement, young, any version of “all night,” caffeine, Red Bull, venture capital, pizza, coffee, beer pong, ping pong, Parcheesi, paradigm, actually any mention of goofy games, hoodie.
Can you do it, you disruptive, innovative, paradigm-shifting creature, you? I know you can.
Link to your buzzword-free article here by October 1, and I will send you a $10 Starbucks card. I swear on a stack of pizza boxes.
*For “company,” think “organization. “
More guidance here:

Hardly Working: Start-up Guys

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